Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Avoiding CSI

I know I watch too watch CSI, Criminal Minds, Forensic Files, etc... b/c of all the little clever things I do to ward off potential serial killers, or rapers, or whatever..... In NYC I used to switch the train I was getting on @ the last minute.....then sometimes when I got off I would pretend I 'accidentally' got off @ the wrong stop & turn around to deter 'bad guys'.
I always set my phone to dial on silent so if I think there is a bad guy in the house I can dial 911 without them hearing.
I open the doors with great force to squash any bad guys lurking behind the door......
There are a few more moves but I won't continue to bore you.....
And by the way I am NOT paranoid...I'm not!! I do all kinds of stupid, thoughtless things to put myself @ risk.....I am not going to get into them all.
Anyway....my new latest way to not end up on CSI involves people ringing the doorbell. This is mostly a day time thought b/c my main concern with not answering the door is that I will miss an important package that has to be signed for, and well.....we all know that involves a lengthy process before you are united with 'said' package.
My door has windows that go all the way from the floor to the top of the door on both sides....and I have come to notice, does not have a peep hole......so basically there is not much room for hiding and observing the element of danger involved with the stranger @ the door.
Today I came up with a dialogue to help eliminate any issues that I might have with ending up on CSI......mostly this only pertains to package delivery people b/c I don't care about anyone else unless I am expecting them.
Door Bell rings
enter me stage left peeping out of the many windows to see package delivery guy, but how do I know he is really a package delivery guy.....maybe he used to be, and was fired and now goes around raping & killing people in his old uniform.......or maybe he raped and killed a real package delivery guy and is wearing his uniform.
So then I would look for the truck......this I feel gives the situation some validity, even though he could have stolen the truck too
The dialogue would go as follows
Me: Yes, who is it??
Stranger: 'package delivery service'guy
Me: I don't see your truck
Stranger: It's down the street I had another package to deliver on the same block
Me: What was the address??
Stranger: Can't remember??
Me: Who is my package from??
Stranger: if he does not tell me someone or a company I recognize then we proceed to:
Me: I'm not home and we have an alarm
Stanger walks off and looks for new victim.......and I come to the computer and blog about how I am still alive

Yes, I actually run through random scenarios, such as this, in my head........And who knows how many times it may have saved my life??? Or just entertained myself??


Jenn Ann said...

How are you not a fan of 24?!

Queen B said...

you are my hero

Sugared Rose said...

hahahahaha so freaking funny...omg i laughed out loud when you say you go back to ur computer and blog about how ur still alive. LOL

The Queen said...

This is so me! I am always playing out scenarios in my head and coming up with a solution! Hey, you gotta prepare for the worst and hope for the best, right? lol

Kim Thomas said...

I am dying laughing! I too have several scenarios going......and I watch too much forensic files etc.

Secreteeyore said...

Just wondering why, if you are so concerned about security, you live in a gated community that is never actually gated....

Jane: a female given name of English origin said...

LAst night I laid in bed thinking of the song I would sing if I were on American Idol. I ran through several and decided Simon would hate all of them. I finally settled on "Ive never been to me" by Charlene.

Probably because its the only one I know all the words to.

Stupid scenarios

OGLADI said...

I'm not home and have an alarm too and am still alive. SWEET!

KFuj said...

I do the same thing! I have dreams that I can't get away, then wake up figuring out what I would do if I was in that situation again.

Andrea said...

This is fabulous!! Thanks for validating that I too carry on a whole other world in my head!!

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