Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Avoiding CSI

I know I watch too watch CSI, Criminal Minds, Forensic Files, etc... b/c of all the little clever things I do to ward off potential serial killers, or rapers, or whatever..... In NYC I used to switch the train I was getting on @ the last minute.....then sometimes when I got off I would pretend I 'accidentally' got off @ the wrong stop & turn around to deter 'bad guys'.
I always set my phone to dial on silent so if I think there is a bad guy in the house I can dial 911 without them hearing.
I open the doors with great force to squash any bad guys lurking behind the door......
There are a few more moves but I won't continue to bore you.....
And by the way I am NOT paranoid...I'm not!! I do all kinds of stupid, thoughtless things to put myself @ risk.....I am not going to get into them all.
Anyway....my new latest way to not end up on CSI involves people ringing the doorbell. This is mostly a day time thought b/c my main concern with not answering the door is that I will miss an important package that has to be signed for, and well.....we all know that involves a lengthy process before you are united with 'said' package.
My door has windows that go all the way from the floor to the top of the door on both sides....and I have come to notice, does not have a peep hole......so basically there is not much room for hiding and observing the element of danger involved with the stranger @ the door.
Today I came up with a dialogue to help eliminate any issues that I might have with ending up on CSI......mostly this only pertains to package delivery people b/c I don't care about anyone else unless I am expecting them.
Door Bell rings
enter me stage left peeping out of the many windows to see package delivery guy, but how do I know he is really a package delivery guy.....maybe he used to be, and was fired and now goes around raping & killing people in his old uniform.......or maybe he raped and killed a real package delivery guy and is wearing his uniform.
So then I would look for the truck......this I feel gives the situation some validity, even though he could have stolen the truck too
The dialogue would go as follows
Me: Yes, who is it??
Stranger: 'package delivery service'guy
Me: I don't see your truck
Stranger: It's down the street I had another package to deliver on the same block
Me: What was the address??
Stranger: Can't remember??
Me: Who is my package from??
Stranger: if he does not tell me someone or a company I recognize then we proceed to:
Me: I'm not home and we have an alarm
Stanger walks off and looks for new victim.......and I come to the computer and blog about how I am still alive

Yes, I actually run through random scenarios, such as this, in my head........And who knows how many times it may have saved my life??? Or just entertained myself??

17 comments:

Jenn Ann said...

How are you not a fan of 24?!

Queen B said...

you are my hero

Sugared Rose said...

hahahahaha so freaking funny...omg i laughed out loud when you say you go back to ur computer and blog about how ur still alive. LOL

The Queen said...

This is so me! I am always playing out scenarios in my head and coming up with a solution! Hey, you gotta prepare for the worst and hope for the best, right? lol

Kim Thomas said...

I am dying laughing! I too have several scenarios going......and I watch too much forensic files etc.

Secreteeyore said...

Just wondering why, if you are so concerned about security, you live in a gated community that is never actually gated....

Jane: a female given name of English origin said...

LAst night I laid in bed thinking of the song I would sing if I were on American Idol. I ran through several and decided Simon would hate all of them. I finally settled on "Ive never been to me" by Charlene.

Probably because its the only one I know all the words to.

Stupid scenarios

OGLADI said...

I'm not home and have an alarm too and am still alive. SWEET!

KFuj said...

I do the same thing! I have dreams that I can't get away, then wake up figuring out what I would do if I was in that situation again.

Andrea said...

This is fabulous!! Thanks for validating that I too carry on a whole other world in my head!!

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